It's not me, it's you.

Before you get too excited, this is NOT a blog about relationship advise.  You won't find me dishing that out. Ever.

Today, I had a revelation. I do that kind of a lot, it makes me wonder if I have new ones, or if I just have a bad memory.  I know, I know, you're DYING to know what it was.  Well, we have to go back in time to yesterday when it all started.  Yesterday I had a good bit of training on tap.  3 hour race-pace interval ride followed by a 20 min run and a "keep things loose" swim.  Everything started normal (despite sleeping in and getting a late start).  However, about 40 minutes into my ride, my bike computer died (oopsie).  No biggie, for some reason I had decided to wear my HR monitor for my ride too, which hardly ever happens.  To clarify, I have a separate wrist unit for my HR.  Ok, where were we.  Oh yes.  I wasn't really paying attention to my HR until I started the first of three 30 minute efforts and my HR seemed unusually, ridiculously low.  Based on my "perceived exertion", we're talking 20 beats below normal.  WTF?!  No sense in working myself up, I decided to just throw caution to the wind and not use numbers at all.  **GASP**

As I was rolling into transition for my run, I decided to take it to the treadmill and have a little test to see if maybe I didn't know how to bike hard anymore, or if there was something truly wrong with my HR.  Sure enough, running at race pace, my HR was 20 beats below normal too.  

And that's when I started wondering what could possibly be wrong with ME...I didn't sleep that great all week, but I felt like I was catching up.  I don't feel like I'm overtrained.  I'm not super tired or irritable.  My diet hasn't changed.  OH MY GOD, maybe I'm really sick!  What if I have a parasite, could be anything.  Why haven't I noticed before.  Maybe I have, what symptoms have I been ignoring?  My brain and I went rounds all night.  I decided I'd have to at least need another days worth data and I'd determine the following day if there was a serious issue.  2 days is a good sample size for sure, right?

As I was getting ready for my run in the morning, it dawned on me to switch out the battery on my HR strap, you know, just to rule things out.  Ha, what do you know, problem solved. Oh. My.

Why is it that when something seems askew, my immediate and only first response is what did I do wrong?  How many times have I done that unnecessarily?  How many times?!?!  Do you ever do this?  Sure it's okay to double check your actions, but to relentlessly search for a way to blame myself was over-kill.  

It was a big wake-up call that I need to have more confidence in my ability to listen to and honor my intuition.  If my intuition was telling me there was nothing wrong with my body, I need to trust that and move on.

Listen to your gut.  (If you apply that as relationship advise, it's on you, not me.)